Folks may recall the recent and friendly bloodbath called Backstabbers Tournament, in which teams compete with other teams, then somewhere along the path to glory, team members fight among themselves vying for their own selfish victory. Well, sevenseas announced a prize of £1 million (for those who attend/ed public school, this means one million British pounds). Master Mind emerged as the final victor of the tournament after besting yellowhat; but what follows is a tale about lies, deceit, corruption, and violence!
Attempting to collect his £1,000,000 as announced, Master Mind had discovered that sevenseas had absconded with the prize money. Fleeing his beloved England (although much to his credit, sevenseas kept a stiff upper lip), aboard his private yacht, the dastardly villain answered the ancient call of all pirates and headed to the Caribbean. Master Mind, being no less ambitious, summoned a few of his troops to travel with him in pursuit of his desperately needed prize money–Master Mind wishes to open a church which will be named The Church on the Way. Some of his community, however, have suggested it might be more like the The Church in the Way, but his intentions are good. So, in company with his colonel, a captain, a miner, and two scouts (also among his company were two dogs and three cats), Master Mind set out for the Caribbean leading his loyal men…and animals, although their loyalties seem to go to the one with the food.
Weeks of agonizing searching befuddled Master Mind as discovering sevenseas’ whereabouts became less likely. Making a wrong turn out of the Bermuda Triangle, Master Mind and his troops landed in Florida for a brief moment where some dude, mustard or something, suddenly appeared to them and said, “I’d like to talk to you about religion…”
Now here I must interrupt the story because something so unnerving happened that it still yet remains unclear as it defies imagination and prompts several disturbing theories as to just how a human boot could fit so compactly into an inconvenient location in an individual. After Master Mind’s arrest, he has flatly refused to make comment on this encounter and merely deflects it as irrelevant to his mission–but, I digress.
Leaving Florida after spending a couple of days at Disneyworld, and still trying to figure out Epcot and how they justify selling alcoholic beverages, Master Mind left with his captain, his miner, one scout, and no animals: his colonel found love far more alluring than chasing after a pirate on the run, got married and is now being considered for a position in Donald Trump’s cabinet…liquor cabinet, that is to say; and the missing scout was last seen running to queue up for one of the attractions at the park…the Men’s room–he has not been seen since; the animals mysteriously vanished while near some ethnic barbeque joint–nobody is saying a word about this one.
Early one afternoon, Master Mind had given his final speech to his men in yet another effort to quell the smoldering embers of rebellion. Patience has a severe limit, and for Master Mind’s company, it had already been crossed–it seemed a fait accompli and all hope seemed lost to ever recovering the highly coveted prize money. Suddenly, the remaining scout reported that he noted a familiar figure sitting under a palm tree on the pearly white beach, sipping a tropical cocktail. Gliding stealthily among the foliage near the shoreline bluff, Master Mind approached with his men. Making a silent signal, the captain was dispatched to make an attack. Yes, it was sevenseas, the notorious criminal, the pirate, sitting under the green leafy palms (it was Monday folks, not the day before to be sure), a Mai Tai cocktail in hand and a tofu–burger in the other. Sadly, it was over for the captain as he lottoed a bomb trap several yards before the unsuspecting sevenseas.
The explosion was devastating to say the least, and although other tourists and vacationers were in the immediate vicinity, the explosive noise was attributed to a nearby Macarena dance lesson gone horribly wrong. At that moment, sevenseas moved from one tree to the neighboring tree to his left. The scout flew across the beach and tried to attack sevenseas. Master Mind had lost his cool and accidentally had dispatched the scout before he could stop him from going too far, and the scout’s fate was sealed as sevenseas used his trusty flying guillotine. (If you wish for a graphic description of what actually happened, please get a signed note of permission from your parents and send me a copy, along with 30 €uros/USD, or £20). From the shadowy trees flanking the beach, a third party started to appear heading towards sevenseas, who did not seem to notice what was going on behind him. It was at that moment that the miner (a Frenchman) went to sap a second bomb spotted nearby sevenseas’ new location. Unfortunately, it was sevenseas’ own miner (another Frenchman), and although one might expect that both men would die fighting one another, sevenseas and Master Mind were especially perturbed that the Frenchmen hurled insults of all kinds at them, including something about roosters and elderberries, and then left after taunting both marshals.
This was the opportunity that Master Mind had been waiting for, the time in which he could make his final assault, the very specific moment in which he could demand his money and get his revenge. Oh boy! This was it! Master Mind made his move to attack sevenseas…
Now, I must warn the reader that if you have no stomach for bloodbaths, decapitation, cruelty to others, and verbal abuse…why do you play Stratego? Well, I digress.
Where were we? Ah, yes! Master Mind made his move and attacked. Now, does the reader recall the figure that seemed to be approaching sevenseas unnoticed from the rear flank? Well, it wasn’t Master Mind’s missing scout or the colonel come back…
…it was sevenseas’ spy. She’s hot, but she’s nasty! Sadly, Master Mind never did get his money and sevenseas…well, no accusers, no witnesses, no evidence…he’s rumored to be back in England and remains a holy terror on Stratego dot com, but there is an offering of £1,000,000 reward for information leading to the collection of the first million.