Jump to content


Photo

jokes


  • Please log in to reply
125 replies to this topic

#101 Don_Homer

Don_Homer

    Captain

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 854 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Scout

Posted 14 January 2019 - 06:11 PM

In deepest space it is the year -14 billion.

In a troubled mind it could be any year… But we're dwelling off the jokes guys! 


Molto Bene, Thats a nica Donut !


#102 Fks

Fks

    Major

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,303 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 14 January 2019 - 08:56 PM

https://gyazo.com/fe...9b2cdc140723d98 Probably the greatest tweet of all time.


Proud Member of the North American Stratego Federation (NASF)

#103 rgillis783

rgillis783

    Lieutenant

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 742 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Gold Sergeant

Posted 15 January 2019 - 12:05 AM

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a ******* wall."  :D 


  • Dobby125 and Fks like this

#104 Nortrom

Nortrom

    General

  • WC Online Team
  • 2,515 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 15 January 2019 - 11:16 AM

Two years late.. :)

 

1421415_1.jpg


"Rock is overpowered, paper is fine" - scissors

See this thread for live gaming updates

#105 Dobby125

Dobby125

    Sergeant

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 345 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Silver Major

Posted 15 January 2019 - 06:17 PM

2 very funny and effective commercials.

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=ZUG9qYTJMsI

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh66Lxqxlik


My Youtube Stratego Channel: https://www.youtube....cGDvlZZkGbgq0LA


#106 Nortrom

Nortrom

    General

  • WC Online Team
  • 2,515 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 18 January 2019 - 04:38 PM

O0m1VM2.png


  • GaryLShelton, Dobby125 and KnightofPepsi like this
"Rock is overpowered, paper is fine" - scissors

See this thread for live gaming updates

#107 rgillis783

rgillis783

    Lieutenant

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 742 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Gold Sergeant

Posted 19 January 2019 - 07:14 PM

woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.

The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.

The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.

The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

 

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."


  • GaryLShelton and Dobby125 like this

#108 Nortrom

Nortrom

    General

  • WC Online Team
  • 2,515 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 20 January 2019 - 01:00 PM

4.jpg


  • GaryLShelton, Fairway, Yellowhat and 3 others like this
"Rock is overpowered, paper is fine" - scissors

See this thread for live gaming updates

#109 Dobby125

Dobby125

    Sergeant

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 345 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Silver Major

Posted 23 January 2019 - 04:28 AM

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.


  • Nortrom, Losermaker, rgillis783 and 1 other like this

My Youtube Stratego Channel: https://www.youtube....cGDvlZZkGbgq0LA


#110 Nortrom

Nortrom

    General

  • WC Online Team
  • 2,515 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 25 January 2019 - 02:53 PM

7WzgWKl.png


  • GaryLShelton and Napoleon 1er like this
"Rock is overpowered, paper is fine" - scissors

See this thread for live gaming updates

#111 rgillis783

rgillis783

    Lieutenant

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 742 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Gold Sergeant

Posted 25 January 2019 - 08:54 PM

Many years ago in a small Indian village, A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain. 
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. 
So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. 
He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag. 
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. 
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. 
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail. 
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag. 
He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag. 
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her? 
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities: 
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble. 
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat. 
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment. 
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking. 
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses 
The above logical answers. 
What would you recommend to the Girl to do? 
Well, here is what she did. ... 
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles. 
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked." 
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one. 
MORAL OF THE STORY: 
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think. :D 


 


  • GaryLShelton, Don_Homer, Napoleon 1er and 2 others like this

#112 Don_Homer

Don_Homer

    Captain

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 854 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Scout

Posted 27 January 2019 - 05:46 PM

Use this in Stratego Rgillis, when your colonel faces a general and a marshall  :)


Molto Bene, Thats a nica Donut !


#113 Nortrom

Nortrom

    General

  • WC Online Team
  • 2,515 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 01 February 2019 - 02:55 PM

n1RhJqD.png


  • GaryLShelton and rgillis783 like this
"Rock is overpowered, paper is fine" - scissors

See this thread for live gaming updates

#114 Napoleon 1er

Napoleon 1er

    General

  • Honorary members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,741 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum General

Posted 06 February 2019 - 04:34 PM

Police asked me to stop while I was driving. I moved down the window. They said "papers". I answered "scissors". I won so I went away.... Looks like they want a revenge because they are following me since 45 minutes...
  • Fairway, rgillis783 and Napoleon 2ème like this
If you don't know where you go ... you have a lot of chance to arrive elsewhere ...

#115 GaryLShelton

GaryLShelton

    Flagbearer

  • Moderators
  • 5,873 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Gold Scout

Posted 07 February 2019 - 04:23 AM

Here's a couple of oldies in stratego videos, but quite funny if you haven't seen them.

Adult Swim Video
https://youtu.be/hPGKOvFWzRk

Hitler Loses a Game of Stratego
https://youtu.be/0pJYuYKjnBI
  • TemplateRex likes this

i77rs4m.jpg

The complete GS&F Rules can be found here: http://forum.strateg...rum-rules-2016/

Draw Refusal Rules, specifically, can be read here: http://forum.strateg...604#entry339604


#116 rgillis783

rgillis783

    Lieutenant

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 742 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Gold Sergeant

Posted 10 February 2019 - 12:17 AM

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.
Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.
Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student asked, "How much for a season pass? :)
  ;)  :lol:  :D 


  • Nortrom, Napoleon 1er and Napoleon 2ème like this

#117 Nortrom

Nortrom

    General

  • WC Online Team
  • 2,515 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 4 weeks ago

Not sure if this belongs under jokes as it is close to reality:

 

HNjygkw.png


  • Fairway, rgillis783 and UnladenSwallow like this
"Rock is overpowered, paper is fine" - scissors

See this thread for live gaming updates

#118 Don_Homer

Don_Homer

    Captain

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 854 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Scout

Posted 3 weeks ago

Astros was late for work (in the restaurant). He called his boss
and said: ''Im in a traffic jam boss.''

The boss asked: ''How long is it?''
Astros: ''How could I know? I am to the fore of it''


Molto Bene, Thats a nica Donut !


#119 Nortrom

Nortrom

    General

  • WC Online Team
  • 2,515 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Marshal

Posted 2 weeks ago

2TW9E5Z.png


  • Losermaker and tobermoryx like this
"Rock is overpowered, paper is fine" - scissors

See this thread for live gaming updates

#120 Don_Homer

Don_Homer

    Captain

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 854 posts
  • Coat of arms
  • Platinum Scout

Posted 2 weeks ago

2TW9E5Z.png

He just 'left' the people :)


Edited by Don_Homer, 2 weeks ago.

Molto Bene, Thats a nica Donut !





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users