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Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department


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#1 Nortrom

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Posted 05 March 2018 - 04:45 PM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department.
 
As per usual, the five firefighters are sitting at the table in their isolated barracks, far away from the habited world where reality is found, thinking about which game to play this week. 
 
Firefighter 1 insists on playing Poker while firefighter 2 mentions that they have been playing this game for the last 4 months and he wants proposes they play chess instead. Firefighter 1 immediately insists that they play poker as they have been playing that for the past 4 months anyway. Firefighter 3 does not have a preference to any of the games but mentions that chess is a game suited for two players only. Firefighter 4 doesn't state his preferences as he is new to the team and also is busy arranging a fishing contest with the boys from the waste collecting service from the nearby town. Firefighter 5 was dozing off and missed all the well thought out arguments and decides to avoid any discussion about which game to play and sneaks out to get the playing cards knowing that a discussion on this topic will drain his energy, tiring him out again and eventually leading to sleep deprivation.
 
20 minutes later firefighter 5 returns with the playing cards, noticing that the jack of spades is missing. By this time the other guys were tired of the discussion and the game of the week was decided; it was going to be poker again. As the firefighters are playing, suddenly firefighter 1 pulls out his phone from 1999 and sends to firefighter 2 via text message, "You owe me two aces next time you are dealer. My word saved me from the bad review last time." Firefighter 2 reluctantly agrees.
 
As firefighter 2 is dealing cards for the next round the alarm services notifies them that smoke detectors have detected a fire in one of the houses of the residential area of Strategodale. Firefighter 1, knowing he will receive two aces this round immediately calls out "The smoke detectors have been plotting up against me since forever! now I finally feel confident I will receive good cards they suddenly go off!" and starts throwing a tantrum how this isn't fair and that he demands that while the others may take a look, he keeps sitting at the table. There is no fire.
 
In the meantime in the street where the fire is burning, people are picking up their phones, some of course to make movies as they prefer to stand from a safe distance and laugh, while others are trying to help by attempting to inform the Strategodale fire department using their phones.
 
As the phone rings at the Strategodale fire department, a slightly annoyed firefighter 2 picks up and states that they are not allowed to address this situation. The concerned caller calls out "it's your job to fire fires! it's in your job description!"
 
Firefighter 2 reports this back to their team, several minutes go by and out of nothing Firefighter 5 picks up the phone to inform the concerned caller that they will address this issue in the near future.
 
In the meantime, firefighter 1 is looking at his aces he received from firefighter 2 and feels satisfied. As firefighter 1 is about to declare "I'm all in!" the phone rings again. Firefighter 3 this time picks up and is told "The flames, the flames are huge! please sent the firefighters". Firefighter 3 then mentions to the other firefighters that there are reports of flames, firefighter 1 mentions that "last time there was a report of a fire, there were no flames. Last time we drove our firetruck we only found a burnt house!" The other firefighters look in disgust "has this guy lost touch with reality?!"
 
As the team can not agree how to address the issue at hand or not, firefighter 2 comes up with an ingenius idea, let's promise them a survey which we will release in a week so that we may take a look at how much flames were there, the maximum temperature and the amount of damage. 
 
One week later a survey gets released consisting of 10 questions. One of the questions goes "Despite your house being burnt down, do you feel the firefighter team's service today is good?" to which the victim thinks "Today? I don't know, I am dissatisfied by the fact my house burnt down last week". Another question goes "Do you think it is a good idea to allow the citizens of Strategodale to come up with a "No confidence petition". After having read the massive amount of uninteresting details the Strategodale citizen thinks "I want a new house and I want it now!"
 
While feeling slightly annoyed, the Strategodale citizen scrolls down to the other question only to make a shocking discovery, as the question goes "Do you think the fire department should only come to action if the flames are higher than 1 meter, have been going on for 2 hours, has a temperature of atleast 300 degrees celcius, the current day is saturday and the month is not october and last but not least, the night before the fire started, was full moon". After reading this question, the citizen of Strategodale struggled to find the courage to read the question again. In the meantime he felt his bloodpressure rising to the point where he wishes to speak to the mayor of Strategodale, responsible of the fire department. After reading the monstrosity, also known as "Survey question" for the 5th time he finally comes to realise that the fire department doesn't care about the fact that his house has burnt down.
 
After a huge sigh the Strategodale citizen scrolls down and has very little faith in the answers, but he takes a look anyway.
 
Answer A : Yes, I agree because apples can be green
Answer B : Yes, I agree because water is usually wet
Answer C : No, I do not agree because this is a minor issue
Answer D : I agree, but I don't care. I don't want the smoke alarms anymore
 
After seeing the options, the now angry Strategodale citizen randomly selects an answer and presses "Submit!" after which an notification message occurs "Thank you for your time. The Strategodale fire department will take up to two months to analyze the survey, after this you may fill in a claim against one of the individual firefighters so that they may be removed from duty. Make sure that you have 25 supporters who are willing to publicly sign your petition! Have a nice day."
 
Back to the Strategodale fire department, firefighter 1 finally is able to declare "I'm all in!" and his colleagues look at him in disgust "Are you serious? you always have to spoil a fun game by putting everything at stake". Of course firefighter 2, who dealt him the two aces remains very silent and folds.
 
When firefighter 3 asks firefighter 1 "Why do you go all-in?" firefighter 1 looks at him and says "Because I like cotton candy, it's my favorite!" the others look at him "That doesn't make any sense!" and firefighter 1 responds "So what? the smoke alarms were all set-up against me, the people reporting flames were sharing fake news and most of all, I wasn't allowed to sit in the driver's seat, so therefore I prefer to play my own game!"
 
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Note: I have uttermost respect for those who serve as firefighters and used this very well respected profession figuratively only.

Edited by Nortrom, 06 March 2018 - 01:53 AM.

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#2 Unladen Swallow

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Posted 05 March 2018 - 05:38 PM

The StrategoDale firefighters will only send help if there are 2 screenshots of the fire, 10 minutes apart, showing that the fire has evolved and become more severe. 


Edited by Unladen Swallow, 05 March 2018 - 05:41 PM.

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#3 GaryLShelton

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Posted 05 March 2018 - 05:52 PM

The StrategoDale firefighters will only send help if there are 2 screenshots of the fire, 10 minutes apart, showing that the fire has evolved and become more severe.

.

C'mon, be charitable. You very well know that the 'Dale firemen will send help to pull down cats from the trees with pics only five minutes apart.
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#4 Fks

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Posted 05 March 2018 - 07:42 PM

The account "Cyka" has an american flag, Therefor He or she will be allowed to play for the nasf In the world team tournament :)


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#5 Unladen Swallow

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Posted 06 March 2018 - 01:30 AM

Moved my old post here, rather than being in the drama topic.

 

---

 

The surly, intimidating Chinese police detective, Sgt Kerr, first name Wan, decided to also open up a survey to the StrategoDale population. He's the de-facto leader of StrategoDale's police department, and his reputation for being  a ruthless jobsworth proceeds him. 

 

Many people complained when they opened up a survey, the first question was:

 

"Have you stopped committing crimes within StrategoDale?

Yes

No"

 

The survey contained loaded, ridiculous and unnecessary questions, and the citizens were obviously displeased. Sgt Kerr threatened the citizens - any uprisising shall be punished with a swift and harsh penalty. Sgt Kerr has tight guidelines, to slack off from as much work as possible, and will not investigate any police incidents if there are not at least 3 timestamped screenshots of the crime being committed, at least 10 minutes apart. Wan is also known to have shown extreme bias towards his own colleagues, and will treat his colleagues above the law. So much that if anyone tries to throw shade upon his co-workers, Wan will punish the instigator with a 1 week ban from StrategoDale's games and social club. 


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#6 Nortrom

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Posted 06 March 2018 - 02:31 PM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #2.
 
After a long exhaustive day of achieving nothing, the firefighters went home. Firefighter 1, on his way to the exit door, kept telling his colleagues about how he felt wronged by the smoke detectors that day and he insists that they play poker again tomorrow. The other firefighters were tired of achieving nothing that day already and did not say a word. They all went home.
 
The day after, the firefighters arrived at the barracks once more. Firefighter 1 had already taken place at the table and slammed his fists into it shouting "We play poker today!". Firefighter 2 said "But we didn't even discuss that" in the meantime firefighter 3, 4 and 5 both looked at each other and their facial expressions were telling a lot. They were afraid of a conflict within the team. Firefighter 1, for once, stated a fact that there was a vote yesterday about which game to play and that he won it 1 to 0. 100% score. The other four firefighters didn't agree at all but none of them were willing to open up the debate about it. 
 
Firefighter 4, the new one of the team who always looks for great alternative possibilities mentioned that as a honorary prize of the "Less performing than Strategodale bus company" award the firefighter squad also was awarded a very special game by someone who wanted to remain very anonymous, but signed his letter with "pattern dinosaur". Firefighter 1 looked at the playing cards and ultimately decided that they should give it a try and this time he won the vote by 2 to 0. Another impressive 100% score. Firefighter 5, silently mentioned that he fears firefighter 1 may start throwing tantrums if he wouldn't get his favorite character in the game. As firefighter 1 wanted to say something he was rudely interrupted by an alarm service phone call. Firefighter 5 realised that he had just questioned firefighter 1's motives and took upon this opportunity to sneak out of conflict and picked up the phone.
 
A very angry citizen of Strategodale said that despite various house fires in Strategodale, his neighbour started harassing him about that the Strategodale fire department only took 3 months, 8 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes and 21 seconds to reach his burnt down house, while his neighbour(the complainer) was given preferential treatment as he received aid from the Strategodale fire department in 3 months, 8 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes and 17 seconds. Firefighter 5 realised that this complaint is about preferential treatment, he passed on the phone to firefighter 2. 
 
After firefighter 2 proudly accepted responsibility for this injustice the phone rang again. Again, firefighter 5 relished the opportunity to sneak out and picked up the phone and heard someone shouting "Someone just complained about me complaining and this is not harassment!" Firefighter 5 quickly passed on the phone to firefighter 2 who then said they would look at this case with high priority, but only after they decided what game to play, lunch, dinner and table tennis. He also mentioned that they first are going to look at fishing rods though. 
 
The Strategodale citizen expressed his gratitude, this was the first time the Strategodale fire department put one of his grievances at the very top of the list.
 
After keeping the complaint on the poker table for a few days, firefighter 4 decided to take initiative. He was not aware of the procedure, but he did know that the Strategodale firefighers did not deal with this kind of complaints. The document was forwarded to the Strategodale Police Department. 
 
Sgt. Kerr handled the complaint personally. Both Strategodale citizens were convicted. Both were sentenced to having to walk to the most nearby water well with a bucket. They are to fill this bucket with water. Of course these buckets have to be delivered to the Strategodale fire department. We can only hope that the water will be used to fight fires in the near future.
 
E0z2wn6.png
 
Note: I have uttermost respect for those who serve as firefighters and used this very well respected profession figuratively only.

Edited by Nortrom, 06 March 2018 - 02:47 PM.

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#7 Nortrom

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Posted 06 March 2018 - 11:14 PM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #3.
 
A worried Strategodale citizen had a meeting with the Mayor of the town, as he wanted to express his feelings about the Strategodale fire department he came to realise that firefighter 1 also was present at the meeting expressing "Remember, two of our firefighters do not wish to respond to your calls. It comes down to my decision and my decision only whether we respond to your emergency calls or not. This also applies to your relatives". 
 
The worried Strategodale citizen wasn't having any of this and told the Mayor of Strategodale, in front of firefighter 1, that he finds this to be totally unacceptable. But the worried Strategodale citizen did give firefighter 1 a huge compliment. He mentioned that he had clues firefighter 1 had been reading the history book "Everyday Stalinism" and even improved this historic leader's methods. 
 
The Mayor agreed and gave firefighter 1 an award, a lollipop for his endeavor about learning more of history. The Mayor then addressed the concerned Strategodale citizen "If you don't lower your volume, firefighter 1 is totally justified in not responding to any of your (or relatives) emergency calls".
 
 
Meanwhile all of this was happening, we had a very special report from one of the firefighters who also wished to remain anonymous as he feared receiving too many awards this year. During firefighter 1's absence the Strategodale fire department managed to save a cat who climbed up the trees. The anonymous firefighter was caught to be exaggerating though, he mentioned to the local newspaper that the Strategodale fire department saved the cat in a record time of 5 minutes, but local Strategodale citizens had their stopwatches out and timed this heroic action on 5 minutes 2 seconds, 24 milliseconds, 539 microseconds and 86 nanoseconds. A record nonetheless!
 
Another anonymous firefighter declared to the newspaper that he himself insisted on taking immediate action. The cat was a red one and red cats are his favorite. When a concerned newspaper reporter asked "Do you consider this to be favouritism?" the firefighter immediately felt attacked and said they should be happy the cat was saved in a Strategodale worldrecord time. The cat's colours indeed were his personal favorite but this had nothing to do with the fact that cats are usually saved, on average 1 month, 3 weeks, 6 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes and 58 seconds. This average, reportedly, is based on 548 cases with the label "Cat saving" over a 3.4 year period.
 
After the four heroes returned to the barracks they found firefighter 1 sitting at the table with their most recently acquired game ready. Firefighter 1 asked the heroes "What the hell are you guys thinking?! Now you dimwits have showed that during my absence you guys actually are capable of achieving great things! the Strategodale community will take this for granted, leading to a higher expectancy and thus more complaints". The four heroes immediately offered their sincere apologies to firefighter 1 and promised to not ever again be of service to the Strategodale community without firefighter 1's written permission to do so. Note that this written permission procedure goes as follows:
 
First a huge debate is held where a vote must be won 1 to 4 by the four heroes, after that firefighter 1 rolls a dice, if it lands on 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 the permission will not be given out. Should the unfortunate event of rolling a 6 occur, firefighter 1 must immediately roll the dice again. After, by a miracle this part was passed, firefighter 1 is legally required to sign his permission "part 1". "Part 2" consists of the same steps, but may only occur 1 month after "part 1" had passed.
 
After all firefighters joined the table three firefighters noticed that sneaky firefighter 1 indeed had given himself his favorite character but decided to say nothing to avoid any further arguments.
 
It was a good day in the Strategodale fire department.
 
justicer-denied.jpg
Note: I have uttermost respect for those who serve as firefighters and used this very well respected profession figuratively only.

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#8 Fairway

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Posted 07 March 2018 - 01:14 AM

fks, in case you don't know, cyka is Nortrom.


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#9 Major Nelson

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Posted 07 March 2018 - 01:24 AM

fks, in case you don't know, cyka is Nortrom.

Of course he knows it, that's exactly why he said cyka is allowed to play for the USA. ;)


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#10 Nortrom

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Posted 07 March 2018 - 02:18 PM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #4.
 
A truly amazing thing happened today in Strategodale. All alarms went off! The survey that was mentioned very briefly before, was filled in for the first time. Someone went through the process of filling in this abomination of a survey and all firefighters were excited. Well, all? one was missing. 
 
Roughly 20 minutes later after this unexpected turn of events, firefighter 3 arrived at the barracks proudly announcing "I did it! I did it!" firefighter 2, 4 and 5 looked at firefighter 3 were hoping for good news. Before firefighter 3 could speak, firefighter 1 stepped in and quickly reprimanded him "Being late as a professional is totally unacceptable here! we maintain a strict policy about being on time". Firefighter 3 couldn't help but to start out laughing and neither could firefighter 2, 4 and 5. 
 
Before firefighter 1 could say anything the alarm phone went off and firefighter 3 quickly sneaked out to avoid any further argument. It was the mayor of Strategodale who wished to know the amount of complaints the Strategodale fire department had received this month. Firefighter 3 passed on the message to his team. Firefighter 1 immediately mentioned that he wasn't responsible for any of the complaints and refused to work on a report for the mayor. The other firefighters gathered all the data required and made a proper report out of it.
 
A new issue had arisen, one of the firefighters had to pass on the report to firefighter 1 so that he may review it and sent it to the mayor of Strategodale. It was decided that the four firefighters would each draw a card from the deck and the one with the lowest card would be the unfortunate one. If two or more firefighters were tied for lowest place, these firefighters would be required to draw a new card.
 
Firefighter 2 started and drew the king of hearts. Firefighter 3 followed by drawing the 10 of clubs and thus now being in a losing position. Firefighter 4 drew his card and found himself looking at the ace of spades. It now was firefighter 5's turn who knew he had to draw a 10 or better not to be the unfortunate one. He picked his card and glanced at it.
 
It was a card he had not seen before. It had the text "Firefighter 1 - joker" on it. After a debate emerged it was decided that firefighter 5 had to draw a new card. He drew a card and found himself relieved as it turned out to be the jack of spades. Firefighter 3 immediately mentioned that the jack of spades had been missing for nearly 10 years already. He had screenshots taken 3 years apart from eachother to prove this statement. The team (not firefighter 1) immediately opened an investigation based on the evidence provided.
 
While examining the evidence, firefighter 1 joined the party and demanded the report asking why it had not been delivered yet. Firefighter 5 handed over the report and blamed the slow computer of the Strategodale fire department for the delay. As firefighter 1 looked at the report he mentioned he could not properly read the amount of complaints(994539318177) and asked that it was read to him.
 
Firefighter 5 took upon this task of uttermost importance and said "Sir, the amount of complaints about the Strategodale fire department this month is 
nine hundred and ninety-four billion, five hundred and thirty-nine million, three hundred and eighteen thousand, one hundred and seventy-seven". Firefighter 1 was delighted about this news. The amount of complaints had gone down compared to last month. Firefighter 4 immediately mentioned that no complaints were made about the waste collecting service from the nearby, abandoned, town.
 
Firefighter 1 immediately disregarded this as "fabricated stories". Firefighter 1 called in for a meeting with all firefighters from the Strategodale fire department and was curious to know what announcement firefighter 3 wanted to make earlier. Firefighter 2 asked if the announcement was about him finally being able to tie his shoe laces all by himself. Firefighter 3 immediately denied this and mentioned that he was proud of being the first one to submit the survey. It then came to firefighter 1's attenntion that he had not been the topic of discussion for longer than 6 seconds and demanded a discussion on how to deal with his seeing problem as he was unable to read the report earlier.
 
To be continued. . . . . the firefighters are first having a lunch break.
 
Complaint%20Department(1).png
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#11 roeczak

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Posted 07 March 2018 - 06:00 PM

This firefighter 4 must be incredibly lucky- no wonder he drew the highest card of them all.
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#12 Nortrom

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Posted 07 March 2018 - 11:12 PM

No idea  :o the author is not allowed to comment on this.


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#13 Nortrom

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Posted 08 March 2018 - 04:28 PM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #5.
 
 
As seen (no pun intended) in the last episode of the Strategodale fire department, it had become apparent that firefighter 1's eyesight was no longer living up to the high quality standards the fire department holds dear. Although, everyone knows that there is nothing wrong with his eyesight, it is a fabricated story and the current glasses are faulty instead.
 
Firefighter 1 blamed it on his glasses and insisted he should visit "The eye dOctor". Firefighter 1 also insisted that one of his colleagues would come along. None of them volunteered to join. Firefighter 2 was looking at his favorite cartoon at his favorite broadcasting channel, firefighter 3 was busy downplaying the complaints, firefighter 4 was about to leave to practice for the upcoming fishing contest and last but not least, firefighter 5 pretended to be busy watering the plants around the barracks. 
 
As per usual, firefighter 1 wanted to open up a debate about who would come along. The other firefighters decided that this time they would throw dices. The one with the lowest score would have to join firefighter 1. Firefighter 2 took his favorite dice and threw it, rolling his favorite number, 5. Firefighter 3 too threw the dice and got a 5 too. Firefighter 4, the lucky one of from the card drawings, threw the dice and to everyone's surprise, he rolled a 6. Firefighter 5 saw the imminent doom and threw the dice without looking, he rolled a 3 and thus was deemed the unlucky one for the day.
 
As firefighter 1 and his colleague, firefighter 5, were about to leave, firefighter 1 immediately initiated a dialogue about whether they should go by bike or car. Before firefighter 5 could respond, firefighter 1 said "Yes, an excellent choice, we go by car" and thus it was decided that the car would be the means of transport.
 
As they arrived at "The eye dOctor", a friendly man named Carlos welcome the two "Good day sirs, how may I help you?" firefighter 1 usually doesn't have contact with outsiders and became very shy. Firefighter 5 said "We're here for him. He has trouble reading numbers such as "nine hundred and ninety-four billion, five hundred and thirty-nine million, three hundred and eighteen thousand, one hundred and seventy-seven" and he would like some improved seeing aid".
 
"I see(no pun intended)" said Carlos and after some standard procedures such as eye measurements and picking a spectacle frame, firefighter 1 started to get a bit impatient and uneasy about the price. The new glasses were to cost 12 Strategodale dollars, which is about indefinitely times the amount of his monthly wager. Firefighter 1 mentioned that he didn't feel treated like a customer. He was expecting a cup of coffee, a donut and of course, cotton candy. As a result he started throwing tantrums. As Carlos noticed this, he offered, as compensation, a 2 Strategodale dollar discount. Firefighter 1 immediately accepted this offer and then went on about that he is in dire need of new playing cards, including the jack of spades.
 
Before fighter 5 could mention that the missing jack of spades had been located, Carlos started to lose patience and made it apparent that he demanded firefighter 1 to accept or decline the deal, now. Firefighter 1 consider this statement for a very brief moment and then mentioned that Carlos should be grateful he is at his shop, his favorite cartoon was airing on TV and he was missing out on it. Firefighter 5 tried to mediate by saying "Carlos, firefighter 1 is known for making up stories and fabricating fallacies, but please try to be understanding." "Enough!" said firefighter 1 and left The eye dOctor's shop and slammed the door. 
 
To be continued. . . . . the firefighters now will first investigate the evidence about whether the jack of spades was found or not.

 

medical-optic-optician-optometrists-opto

 

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#14 Nortrom

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Posted 08 March 2018 - 04:50 PM

Rumour has it that one of Strategodale's concerned citizens faces the well thought out procedures bureaucracy at the city hall while trying to handle a complaint. Stay tuned!

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#15 Morx

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Posted 08 March 2018 - 05:38 PM

The Strategodale City Hall is a large building in the middle of Strategodale.

Some citizens of Strategodale refer to it as: The Black Hole, because once a document goes in,  it never comes out again.

Today we will have a look at the Department of Regulations and Complaints.

The desks at this department are only open  for the public on Monday mornings between 0900 and 1100, because the rest of the week the department is too busy handling complaints.

A concerned citizen with a complaint regarding the Strategodale Fire Department is number 43rd in the queue today. There are 5 civil servants serving the audience. When it is finally his turn, civil servant 5 asks:"Are you here for a complaint about the Police Department?" The citizen is surprised and says "No, why?" The reply is surprising:"Oh good, there is a special queue for sgt. Kerr and that queue next to it is for the rest of that department."

The citizen tells him he has been here before regarding the a complaint against one of the firefighters."Oh really", civil servant 3 says, "My cousin is a firefighter. Let me try to handle your filing. What is the filing number?"

 

Surprised the citizen replies:"I talked with you last week, you did not give me one?". Civil servant 3 looks around a bit embarrassed and says "OK that's not uncommon practice around here, if we don't give out numbers, most people don't come back. It saves the Department a lot of work. But let me see what I can do with your document".

When discussing the content of the case (which is about various insults) the citizen mentions:" Your firefighter called me an illiterate peasant."
Civil servant 3 replies with a question:"Did you read Tolstoj's War and Peace?" The surprised citizen replies:"No, why?"

"Well then he has a point, that sounds illiterate to me. This part of your complaint will be denied according to our rule book".

The citizen is slightly angered and asks: "Rule book, wait, what rule book and grabs it from the counter"

He quickly scans through the book and finds that the free association rules cover most of the stuff he finds offending.
"So calling my wife a silly donkey refers to a movie character in a movie called Shrek and is not an issue" and
"Saying I did not do anything for the community is ok, because tending the elderly, helping kids to cross the road and giving an art class at the local schoool are not on your list of community work?"

The citizen who by now is pretty angry is thinking of the worst thing said to him. It involved an intimate act between one or two people. In this case the reference was to one person.

He starts to explain that there was "love making involved and it was a single person act". Civil servant 3 thinks for a moment and then replies "The Woodstock procedure".

Concerned citizen: "Huh. What?" Civil Servant 3: Well "Love making", "Peace and Love", flower power,hippy times, the biggest festival was Woodstock. He wanted you to go to Woodstock alone. That is not an insult. This filing will be closed, next please."

 

Many more filings were handled that day by the Strategodale Department of Regulations and Complaints.

 

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#16 Nortrom

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Posted 09 March 2018 - 11:11 AM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #6.
 
By now, firefighter 1 and 5 were returning to the barracks, they were obstructed by an angry crowd shouting at them. Their houses had been burned down recently and not a single action was taken. There was one happy citizen though, his cat was saved in a Strategodale world record. Firefighter 1 looked at the angry people and shouted "It's all a lie! Your houses didn't burn down because we did not take action, your houses burned down due to fire!" The angry Strategodale citizens immediately started arguing that the firefighters did not even acknowledge flames before. Firefighter 1 relished the opportunity to claim "Glad we all agree. Have a good day" and thus firefighter 1 and 5 went inside the barracks.
 
Yet a rather unpleasant surprise awaited the two firefighters, their colleagues had been fighting about whether the evidence about the jack of spades was found or not. Firefighter 1 had bad news to share, Carlos, The eye dOctor was not able to find him suitable replacement glasses and instructed his colleagues that next time Carlos calls them, they let his house and shop burn down until there's nothing left. 
 
Eye doctor Carlos was definitely going to receive a bad review claimed firefighter 1. Firefighter 5 wanted to point out that he felt his colleague was being unreasonable, but then remembered what happened previous time he tried to suggest that perhaps firefighter 1 should be more open to different opinions and ultimately, once again, decided to keep his mouth shut and put on a fake smile.
 
Long but thrilling discussion emerged, once again, about the topic of the week, the jack of spades. Firefighter 5, the leader of the group asked input of all his colleagues. Firefighter 1 was mostly insulted that he was not the one to find the jack of spades and thus deemed the provided evidence as fabricated. Firefighter 2 only had to mention that the jack of spades actually is his favorite card. Firefighter 3 busy ignoring the jack of spades affair while firefighter 4 only mentioned that the jack of spades does not hold a fishing rod. Firefighter 5 got tired of them and tried to switch topics.
 
On that very moment the phone rang, firefighter 5 answered. It was the Mayor of Strategodale who had good news for the Strategodale fire department, they were opening a new desk about complaints how complaints about complaints were handled about the Strategodale fire department. Firefighter 5 immediately, while on the phone, passed on the good news to his colleagues who all were very excited about this. The Mayor of Strategodale also promised that if all this good work keeps going, more employment opportunities would arise as there are talks about opening yet another department; complaints about complaints how complaints about complaints were handled about the Strategodale fire department. The Strategodale firefighters immediately felt an enormous pressure to generate as many complaints as possible. Firefighter 5 asked the Mayor of Strategodale how they could achieve this. The Mayor answered that the Strategodale fire department is so far doing an excellent job in generating complaints so he has complete trust in them.
 
Not soon after the phone call ended the phone rang again, luckily a very smart system was implemented recently, should a Strategodale citizen call, the number will be automatically forwarded to the complaint department. Firefighter 4 looked at the phone number and noticed the waste collecting service from the nearby, abandoned, town was calling. 
 
Ecstatic as he was, he picked up the phone and asked when the fishing contest would start. The boys from the waste collecting service mentioned that some Strategodale citizens pointed out to them that they are not allowed to offer their services to the Strategodale citizens. 
 
Long consideration of approximately 5 seconds followed and firefighter 3 who had been overhearing the conversation mentioned that he is good friends with the Mayor and that the long standing policy would immediately be abolished.
 
Lunch time emerged and thus the firefighters went for a lunch. Firefighter 2 baked his favorite cake at home and brought it to the barracks so it could be shared with his colleagues. Firefighter 1 asked if the oven used to bake the cake was powered by a water dam. Firefighter 3 was ignoring the cake and denying the cake was there. Firefighter 4 mentioned that he would love a piece, but only if he could bring half the cake to the waste collecting service from the nearby, abandoned, town. Firefighter 5 didn't want any cake as his sleep deprivation pills do not work well together with cake. Firefighter 1, 2 and 4 wanted cake. Firefighter 2 claimed that as baker, he deserves the biggest part, but because both of his colleagues were his favorite he was willing to settle 1/3rd for each. Firefighter 4 agreed to 1/3rd each. Firefighter 1 had to spoil the party by claiming he wanted a more fair distribution of cake and proposed that his colleagues get nothing and he gets everything.
 
Of course firefighter 2 and 4 felt insulted by this suggestion but ultimately, to avoid any discussion, accepted this proposal. "Another vote won!" claimed firefighter 1 who then ate the entire cake mentioning that this agreement also was made several years ago anyway.
 
To be continued. . . . . .
 
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#17 Nortrom

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Posted 10 March 2018 - 12:28 AM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #7.
 
On a random moment firefighter 3 looked at the ground and saw a piece of paper. He picked it up and took a look and saw "Complaint #455421145". "Wow! This is a truly historic one" firefighter 3 said to his colleagues. Firefighter 4 who was new to the team didn't catch the joke and had firefighter 5 explain to him that the number "455421145" is relatively low compared to the numbers the complaints are getting now. 
 
Perhaps poor case handling had something to do with the high amount of complaints, however according to the Strategodale fire department this was not true. The case handling was exactly done as they believe it should be. Complaining citizens would first have to wait approximately 4 days until they were given a notice about their complaint being received, after that the complaint would handled with top priority, just like the other 439533145 outstanding complaints with an estimated waiting time of about 3 weeks.
 
Extra useful were complaints with many pages, they would be used to fix the issue of a crooked table which rendered the firefighters unable to play chess. Firefighter 2 especially was very fond of this solution, after all, his favorite game was chess and a flat table is required. As the firefighters had nothing better to do anyway, they decided that they wanted to improve their service to the Strategodale citizens. 
 
Now one may think this is a wonderful idea, and actually, it sure definitely sounds like it, however the Strategodale was losing population quickly due to many houses being burnt down. Firefighter 1 suggested they should give out lower case numbers so the amount of complaints would look less intimidating. Firefighter 2 suggested since winter was coming, they would throw all unhandled cases into the fire place. The cases were not going to be addressed anyway. Firefighter 3 didn't have an opinion of his own and agreed. Firefighter 4 and 5 were both astonished by this amazing idea and happily agreed. 
 
Clearly a genius idea. Firefighter 2 did mention that their fireplace could burn for an hour if they fed it 100000 cases per hour. Firefighter 1 wasn't pleased with this, "that's about 0.6% of all our complaints per hour" he claimed. Firefighter 5 mentioned that this would be an improvement over the current case handling which results in approximately 1 case per 3 full moons being handled.
 
Another phone call came in, firefighter 4 answered "Strategodale fire department, how can we be of service?" the caller responded "This is Eoin speaking my teddybear is stuck in the elevator and he's very afraid please assist". Firefighter 4 recognized the caller, it was his best friend from kindergarten. He quickly took action to mobilize the entire team.
 
Special services, anything for a friend. It was clear this was an emergency.The sound of the sirens was heard the first time this week:"Wee woo, Wee woo!". Just three minutes later the fire truck arrived at the building with the broken elevator. 
 
Extreme actions were taken. No costs and effort were spared to rescue the poor stuffed animal. With all the tools they had it only took 43 minutes to open the broken elevator door. Firefighter 2 asked Eoin if this teddybear was his favorite, Eoin immediately acknowledged this. Firefighter 1 mentioned himself always following the proper regulations and was getting a bit annoyed by the fact that the quality of his work here was not immediately recognized. He was about to open a debate on this topic.
 
Slowly Eoin started to feel better. The firefighters (not firefighter 1) stayed for quite some time to offer their sincere emotional support to this well accomplished citizen of Strategodale.
 
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#18 Nortrom

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 12:14 AM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #8.
 
Since the heroic saving of the stuffed animal from the elevator, the approval rate of the Strategodale fire department increased to a record of a 1.00001 on a scale of 1 to 10. the firefighters were very delighed about this news. Finally their work had been recognized by the Strategodale community, or well, what's left of it. The Mayor of the town gave a speech expressing his joy.
 
Too often the Mayor had only received negative stories about the Strategodale fire department and the Mayor was extremely excited to address the Strategodale community of the improved approval rate of the Strategodale fire department. During the speech, the heroic deeds from firefighter 4 were named first and the firefighter was promised a medal for "immediately recognizing a dangerous situation".
 
Even more so, it was firefighter 1 who also, finally, received recognition for the improvement. The Mayor praised the team regarding the fact that Strategodale became safe again. Out of 1000 houses, only 128 were left, therefor the probability of another fire was drastically decreased. 
 
Plenty of time to celebrate the firefighters thought and firefighter 5 was sent on a mission to get some groceries. As he entered the shop, he was immediately addressed by a concerned and rather unhappy Strategodale citizen asking if his report had come in properly yet. It had been 4 days already since he repoted a house fire and that his smoke detectors also has a signalling service which immediately warns the Strategodale fire department. Firefighter 5 was most displeased about having to answer this concern.
 
During the conversation, the Strategodale citizen expressed his anger about the fact it had taken 4 days and still no action was taken, but he also mentioned the fact that his neighbour, Eoin, had his teddybear saved within an hour. He asked "Is there any preferential treatment going on here?" firefighter 5 said he doesn't know of any "This preferential treatment thing is firefighter 2's business, not mine" he stated. The Strategodale citizen was getting more and more annoyed as the converation continued.
 
Of course it came to a point where the concerned, and by now, angry, Strategodale citizen said he would file in a complaint against the Strategodale fire department. Firefighter 5 mentioned that they need a few more pages of paper to fix their crooked table and was happy to suggest "You can also send in a complaint about the way your complaint was handled in advance". Firefighter 5 proudly announced this as a result of the questionnaire held by the Strategodale fire department.
 
Wonderful this idea, truly remarkable and the work of a visionary. Knowing that complaints about the way complaints are handled are inevitable, it now is possible to file two complaints at once, a truly innovative service offered by the Strategodale fire department.
 
Now firefighter 5 did a major revealing to the citizen of Strategodale, he mentioned that: thusfar, no one had ever filled in a complaint about the way his complaint was handled in advance, therefor the only logical conclusion could be that the Strategodale citizens (what's left of them anyway) had faith in the Strategodale fire department complaint handling procedure. The fact that no one knew about this possibility (except for the Mayor and the firefighters was not taken into consideration.
 
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#19 Nortrom

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 04:06 PM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #9.
 
A major announcement by the Strategodale fire department was made today. Firefighter 2 retired from his beloved job and a new firefighter was installed shortly after. It is unknown whether this was firefighter 2's favorite pick among the only two citizens who supported the Strategodale firedepartment or not.
 
Surely this is going to lead to major improvements, as an ordinary citizen, not too long ago, firefighter 6 already started to defend the Strategodale fire department and was even willing to rate them 9 out of 10. Increasing the average to 1.03531.
 
Shortly after this, he noticed that his neighbour's home had burnt down. Of course his neighbour was very angry, but the person who now is firefighter 6 tried to comfort him by telling that the Strategodale fire department had recently done great deeds. Truly great deeds.
 
Little did the angry Strategodale citizen know, firefighter 6 told his neighbour that the Strategodale fire department had recently saved a cat and a stuffed animal from their favorite citizen in record time while letting houses burn down.
 
Immediately after informing the angry Strategodale citizen about this, firefighter 6 did say, however, that he did not agree with the Strategodale fire department's priorities. He firlmy stated "The stuffed animal from our favorite citizen should have been saved first". 
 
Clearly firefighter 6 back then already had massive ideas to improve the Strategodale fire department. No way that a living being, a cat, would have priority over a stuffed animal from the fire department's favorite citizen. This would never occur again.
 
Keys to the Strategodale fire department were handed over to firefighter 6 shortly after his promotion. He did not receive any keys to the fire truck though, firefighter 1 felt uneasy potentially giving up his driver's seat.
 
Enthousiastic as he was, firefighter 6 rushed to the phone when a new emergency call came in. When he found out a huge fire emerged at the waste incineration of Strategodale due to the huge amount of papers coming from the Strategodale fire department (unhandled complaints) he quicky took action by ending the phone call. Firefighter 6 did not wish to change the Strategodale fire department's level of service.
 
Rapidly after the phone call was ended, another phone call came in. Firefighter 6, reluctantly, picked up the phone again thinking "Wow, I didn't expect such a heavy workload". A very upset Strategodale citizen mentioned that his stuffed animal had been trapped inside an elevator once again. Firefighter 6, wanting to be the hero of the day, immediately informed his colleagues and they went on their way.
 
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#20 Nortrom

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 03:52 PM

Yet another day at the Strategodale fire department part #10.
 
Clearly the previous, heroic, action from firefighter 6 would get him another award. After the firefighters saved the poor stuffed animal they returned to the barracks. Upon arrival they noticed the Mayor of the town was standing at the door for an unannounced meeting. The firefighters were sure they were getting a raise for all their heroic and important deeds over the past few days.
 
Of course the self proclaimed leader of the group, firefighter 1 immediately went on to greet the Mayor of Strategodale and was excited to see one of his best pals again. The Mayor however was slightly annoyed and invited the firefighters to sit at the table for a discussion. The Mayor and the firefighters sat at the table and firefighter 1 asked the most important question of the day "Is there going to be a replacement for the lost jack of spades, Mayor?" the other firefighters who actually located the jack of spades several days ago, including what they consider, adequate evidence released a deep sigh. Firefighter 6 had not yet been informed about the missing jack of spaces and decided to remain more silent than his colleagues.
 
Mayor of Strategodale, Mr. Lown, first name Collin, stated there was a financial crisis going on and held the Strategodale fire department responsible for this. The firefighters immediately disagreed and mentioned they had been going great things such as saving cats and stuffed animals from elevators. They did acknowledge that a few houses did burn down. Collin Lown, the Mayor of Strategodale said this had nothing to do with the houses that were not saved, and he showed him a report from the Strategodale treasurer. The Strategodale fire department had been using 566532 times more paper than anticipated, leading to a total cost of 2 billion Strategodale dollars
 
Pure nonsense according to firefighter 1 "This issue will be resolved very shortly! this is only a temporarily expense" he claimed. Firefighter 1 elaborated to Collin Lown, the Major of Strategodale that the amount of paper used is due to the insane amount of unfounded complaints the Strategodale fire department had been receiving lately. Collin asked "How do you intend on solving the issue then?" Firefighter 1 replied "You see, well respected Mayor Lown, we intend on letting all houses burn down so Strategodale will have no citizens left that can file a complaint"
 
Little time was needed for the Mayor to express his happiness about the proposed solution to the issue of paper costs. "Wonderful!" said the Mayor of Strategodale. Firefighter 1 mentioned "Mayor, we have a huge problem in the Strategodale fire department". The Mayor was all ears for Firefighter 1's story. "The jack of spades, sir, the jack of spades is still missing and I can't sleep at night due to this issue" said firefighter 1.
 
After a short moment of consideration the Mayor decided that the Strategodale fire department, after all their hard and noble work, deserved a new deck of playing cards. The Mayor of Strategodale called the town hall and ordered that a new deck of playing cards needed to be delivered with uttermost priority to the Strategodale fire department. The Mayor was hailed as a hero by the firefighters and he went back to the town hall.
 
In a moment of ignorance, firefighter 6 asked his colleagues about the training budget the firefighters receive each year. He noticed that it is 25% higher than the country's average. Firefighter 5 explained "No no, we all get the same, but firefighter 1 doesn't believe in professionalism. He doesn't need improvements, he is perfect as is so he donates his education budget to us". Firefighter 6 was truly fasctinated by the fact firefigher 1 is such an awesome colleague to have.
 
Not much later, a top priority package delivery arrived. The new deck of playing cards was delivered. Firefighter 1 immediately inspected the entire deck and noticed that 54 cards were present. 52 regular cards (including the jack of spades) and two cards that represent himself. "Awesome!" cried firefigher 1. "Oh look! there is a letter from the Mayor" said firefighter 6 and he read it out loud to his colleagues
 
To everyone's surprise, the Mayor had included another gift meant for Firefighter 4. After Firefighter 4 unpacked the gift and found a new, flashy, shiny, state of the art, fishing rod. Firefighter 4 shed a tear or two from happiness and found a letter from the Mayor. "I know you will need this to beat the boys from the waste collecting service from the nearby town, give them hell! - Mayor of Strategodale C. Lown"
 
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