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Two Marshals Enter a Bar . . .


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#21 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 04:33 PM

Two marshals are sitting in a bar.

The blue one asks:

'How does jookiyaya call someone who wins very very fast?'

 

'I don't know.' The red marshal says.

 

The blue marshal says:

'A cheetah!'

 

That made me laugh well, Yellowhat!  :lol:   Thanks for the uplift.  :D


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#22 Silverhammer

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 07:59 AM

Wow.

 

I decided to spend my night looking over the forum to read what I missed and I am not disappointed.



#23 Silverhammer

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 08:04 AM

Commander Silverhammer walks into the local pub to find his entire platoon of 40 soldiers piss drunk with a battle early the next morning. 

 

The Commander walks up to his Marshall. "What the heck man, we have battle in 4 hours! Straighten yourself up!"

 

"Well Commander if you kept a tighter leash..." he trailed off.

 

"What you fool!" Commanders Maxroelofs and Unladen Swallow started laughing in the corner. The Commander walked over to them."What are you laughing at!"

 

Maxroelofs replied "Well Commander, you use such a loud tone. Why do you think your soldiers are in the pub every night?"

 

The Commander walked back to his Marshall "What were you saying!"

 

"Commander if you didn't rage so much and kept a tighter leash, we wouldn't get so drunk, and maybe you would be higher than a mere Sliver Lieutenant." 


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#24 OuweSok

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Posted 05 October 2017 - 03:00 PM

Time to request being renamed to Goldenhammer

Check out my Stratego Youtube channel ! :o


#25 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 24 January 2018 - 07:53 PM

(For the musicians on the site)

After assembling his entire company, but without the Marshal present, the General addresses his officers and soldiers:

 

“If you know, or do not, it is the Marshal’s birthday today…”

Murmuring gently interrupted the General’s address; but he continued:

“I think it would please our esteemed Marshal if we were to regale him with song and a celebration. What say all of you?”

 

The officers and soldiers were all too happy to concur and voiced their unanimous approval–

 

“Hear, hear!”

“Hip-hip…hooray!!!”

“For he’s a jolly good fellow…”

 

Raising his hands high, the General silenced the officers and soldiers and said, “We will start with ‘The Birthday Song’ and then continue with…”

 

Suddenly, a scuffle broke out between a small faction of the group–the scouts and the lieutenants were engaging in “push and shove” and fisticuffs with the miners. The officers and soldiers were more resembling a rabble than a military unit when the General shouted above the noise, “ATTENTION!!!”

 

Silence prevailed through the chaos as the General’s stern visage could be seen by all who were present. Disappointed and even a bit angry with his company, the General demanded, “What is the meaning of this outrage?!” Pointing to an officer in the front–“Captain? Explain!”

 

The captain, adjusting his uniform and captain's hat, composed himself and answered the General as follows:

 

“Sir! As you well know, we hold you and our Marshal in the highest regard, and with the highest esteem…”

“Thank you, captain,” said the General.

“You must know that ‘The Birthday Song’ is a well known and cheerful piece and that as men of this company, we refuse to allow any kind of discord to tarnish the celebration you have so generously and wisely proposed…”

“Yes, yes…all true…,” said the General.

 

Continuing, the captain said, “Well… we refuse to allow anyone to muck things up as they’ll ruin everything, and as this music is in a bright key, in C major…we need to get rid of all the miners…”  :ph34r:  :ph34r:  :ph34r:


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