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Two Marshals Enter a Bar . . .


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#1 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 19 August 2017 - 05:20 PM

Two marshals enter a bar and sit down at a table.

A barmaid approaches wanting to take their order.

The marshals leap up, race to the Emergency Exit, and yell back, 

"Stop trying to spy on us!!!"


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#2 OuweSok

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 08:20 AM

The young army officer speaks agitatedly with the General.

"Why can't we be first in line like the scouts and sergeants! We are brave! We want to fight!

The General replied: "It is because you are still minors"


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#3 OuweSok

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 08:23 AM

Two old generals are having a drink in a bar.

"I lost my son the oter day. He was an explorer and hit a bomb. He gave his life for us to win the battle. So brave."

"I have lost two of mine as well, one was an Explorer and the other a Sergeant"

"Isn't it amazing how time flies and how quickly our kids blow up?"


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#4 Moghedien

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 08:57 AM

lol... :D

 

Nice guys! Is there more? 


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#5 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 10:24 AM

Two colonels are sitting at a table in a bar trading battle stories.

A major enters the bar, orders a beer, takes a sip and passes out.  :blink:

Another major enters the bar, takes a sip of beer and passes out.  :blink:

A third major enters a bar, takes a sip of beer and passes out, too.  :blink:

One of the colonels says to the other,

“No wonder why you lost,

your majors get bombed way too easily.” 


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#6 Napoleon 1er

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 10:48 AM

if you like jokes there were some threads on that:

 

http://forum.strateg...-jokes/?p=64798


If you don't know where you go ... you have a lot of chance to arrive elsewhere ...

#7 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 10:51 AM

lol... :D

 

Nice guys! Is there more? 

 

A guy from New York travels to Amsterdam on holiday.

After having a couple of Space Cakes, he heads to a bar.

Upon entering, he notices a Stratego board all setup and

Max Roelofs waiting to play. He asks if he can play a match

and the two begin.

The vacationer decides to use his captain and is confused

when Max takes his piece with a 7. “Hey, man! You can’t do that!”

“Sure I can, it’s part of the rules”

The vacationer decides to attack with his colonel. Attempting to

take the piece in front of him, which is a 9, Max says, “Sorry, dude,

no can do. I take your kolonel.”

The vacationer says, “WHAT?! Maybe I’ve had too many Space Cakes. FINE!”

The guy from New York attacks with his general and then Max takes the piece.

“What the Hell??? What’s a 10 doing on this board?!?!?!


Edited by KissMyCookie, 20 August 2017 - 10:53 AM.

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#8 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 10:52 AM

if you like jokes there were some threads on that:

 

http://forum.strateg...-jokes/?p=64798

 

But these are strictly Stratego inspired material . . .  :D



#9 Napoleon 1er

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 01:10 PM

Colonel Kissmycookies sitting at the bar ordering 2 whiskies, doing this everyday since one month now .... sunddenly he starts ordering only 1 whisky. Barkeeper asks him: why did you always order 2 whiskies and now only one? ... Colonel Kissmycookies answered: ...you know ... i was always ordering 2 whiskies in memories  of my friend colonel Ouwesok who died in a tremendous battle against Marshall Napoleon 1er, ... onw whisky for me one for him. ...Barkeeper: ok but what does it change now he is still dead? ... yes but my doctor told me I shall stop drinking alcohol ... :D


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If you don't know where you go ... you have a lot of chance to arrive elsewhere ...

#10 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 01:30 PM

Marshal Napoleon 1er, the next time we meet at Saint Helena, I'll invite you to be my guest and help me to decide upon our feelings concerning the contents of a bottle of an 18 year Highland Park!  :D

 

Cheers! Santé! Cincin! Prost! Proscht!

 

...and for our Dutch friends,

 

Gezeondheid/Proost!

 

:lol:



#11 Losermaker

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 01:49 PM

The only time a major wont obey my order is when sent into a corn field... he tells me the place is full of kernels! :rolleyes:


Edited by Losermaker, 20 August 2017 - 01:51 PM.

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#12 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 20 August 2017 - 03:13 PM

The only time a major wont obey my order is when sent into a corn field... he tells me the place is full of kernels! :rolleyes:

 

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:



#13 The Prof

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Posted 25 August 2017 - 06:41 AM

How would you describe what's going to happen here?

 

ynP5Xh.jpg

 

 

A marshalling of forces followed a major sacrifice and caused a general disaster!


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#14 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 25 August 2017 - 09:14 AM

(Warning–Groaner Ahead)  :blink:

 

It’s during wartime in a small village in France. A sergeant, a sapper, and a scout enter the house where they are staying in temporary quarters. The owner runs a small bar on the ground floor, so the three men want a drink and a quiet evening. They order, sit at their table, and they wait for their drinks. Suddenly, two men enter the bar, sir down, and start playing their musical instruments and begin to sing raucous songs. The sergeant is deeply offended and says to the scout, “Tell them to stop.” The scout goes to the table and tells them the sergeant’s wish, to which one of the players says, “Go away, little man, we’re busy.” The scout dejectedly leaves the table and explains what happened. The sergeant looks to the sapper and makes a motion. The miner goes to the table and says, “Maybe you’d like a bomb part to wake you up during the night? Stop playing your guitars.” One of the players retorts, “You may be a sapper, but here you’re just a sap. Go away!” Upon hearing this, the sergeant stands up excitedly, goes to the table and blusters, “Look, you lily-livered, yellow-bellied, sap-sucking cowards! Get the hell outta here before I shove those guitars up your backside!!!”

 

After a moment of pause, with the sergeant still shaking from his vocal tirade, one of the players says quietly, “We live here and we’re the owner’s favorite residents, so unless you’re going to do something else, I suggest you leave us alone.” Rather dismayed, the sergeant wanders to the bar and asks the bartender, “Who the heck are those guys? They don’t want to listen to reason!” The bartender/owner says, “Well, unless you’re rank is a captain or higher, they’re not going to listen to you.” The sergeant retorts, “What gives them that right?! And why in the hell are those guitar playing jerks your favorites?!” The bartender answers, “Yes, they are my favorites, and those are not guitars they are playing, so unless you have some power behind your words, leave my lute tenants alone!”

 

(Well…we warned you!)  :ph34r: 


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#15 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 31 August 2017 - 10:39 AM

A marshal enters a bar and instantly knocks over a general standing near a table. The marshal moves along and knocks over two captains seated nearby. The marshal continues to swagger around and takes out a major and a colonel standing near the fish tank, and all the while, nothing seems to phase him in the least, and nothing is spilled upon him. A scout turns to another and asks, "Why is he doing this?" The other scout replies, "This happens every time a marshal comes back to this place for a second time–it's always the same here and never changes."

 

Suddenly, the bartender starts yelling, "Get outta here you cheater, you're banned from ever coming back to

Jookiyaya's Bar !"


Edited by KissMyCookie, 31 August 2017 - 10:40 AM.

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#16 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 31 August 2017 - 04:13 PM

(For the American players–and those who know this product)...

 

A marshal and a general are sitting at a bar reminiscing about former times and former experiences. After a few more sips of cognac, the marshal asks the general, "What is Scout jookiyaya's favorite snack?"

 

The general answers, "I don't know, what is Scout jookiyaya's favorite snack."

 

The marshal sips his cognac and answers, "Cheetos!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

psvZRf0.jpg


Edited by KissMyCookie, 31 August 2017 - 04:13 PM.

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#17 Unladen Swallow

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Posted 31 August 2017 - 07:36 PM

A marshal enters a bar and instantly knocks over a general standing near a table. The marshal moves along and knocks over two captains seated nearby. The marshal continues to swagger around and takes out a major and a colonel standing near the fish tank, and all the while, nothing seems to phase him in the least, and nothing is spilled upon him. A scout turns to another and asks, "Why is he doing this?" The other scout replies, "This happens every time a marshal comes back to this place for a second time–it's always the same here and never changes."

 

Suddenly, the bartender starts yelling, "Get outta here you cheater, you're banned from ever coming back to

Jookiyaya's Bar !"

 

LOL  :lol:  :D


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#18 OuweSok

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Posted 31 August 2017 - 10:49 PM

:)

 

Trolls deserve to be trolled


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#19 Edmond Dantes 1844

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Posted 12 September 2017 - 10:02 AM

Two generals are sitting in a bar. One is complaining to the other about having trouble with his spy. “Everybody warned me not to fall in love with her, and to marry my spy. They all said she was much too beautiful and too hot to handle.” The other general asks, “Well, what happened?!” The first general, after making a heavy sigh and taking a large swallow from his cognac, continues, “Well, she married me, fell in love with the handsome marshal, and then left me.” The second general replies, “Gee, that’s too bad. I’m sorry to know it–what are you going to do now?” The first general says determinedly, “This time I’m going to recruit an ugly woman to be my spy and I’ll probably wind up marrying her, too.” The second general, astonished, says, “Why would you do that?! An ugly woman is just as likely to leave you for a marshal, too.” The first general says, “That’s true, but if she does who cares?”



#20 Yellowhat

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Posted 18 September 2017 - 03:31 PM

Two marshals are sitting in a bar.

The blue one asks:

'How does jookiyaya call someone who wins very very fast?'

 

'I don't know.' The red marshal says.

 

The blue marshal says:

'A cheetah!'


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