Well, Moghedien, it was very good of you to offer your explanation–you did not owe anyone an explanation, but you have been generous to do so and you make a strong case for yourself. (Please keep reading as I have some comments further down).
Henry, although you admit to disconnecting on purpose and also offering an explanation as to why (which is also good of you), I must agree with Moghedien that 'admitting' to something, and 'apologizing' for something are two completely different things.
In all fairness, Henry offered his reason for disconnecting: he was upset and he wanted to express his nervous/frustrated state. As it is a typical behavior, the usual course of action is, for the person who is receiving the disconnect, to wait patiently for the victory sign AND/OR for his opponent's return. We all know that this happens, too. At least 25% of the disconnects I receive, the players come back and either disconnect again (they are waiting for their buffer to run out), or they actually continue gameplay again, or they actually (but rarely) surrender.
The word 'cheat' may not be the most appropriate one here because cheating suggests that he was intending to gain an advantage through deception. There is no proof of this–he could not possibly cheat his opponent unless the opponent walked away from their computer instead of waiting for the conclusion of the game–part of the gameplay is playing to the end of the match-the game is consummated with either the victory or defeat sign. Henry's behavior, on the other hand and by his own admission, was not an example of good sportsmanship. He may have acted in a manner that could have felt offensive, but it is not a clear case of cheating.
On the other side of the coin, I think many people here (myself included) will agree with you that lottoing and marshal blitzing are incredibly annoying, and sometimes can devastate even the most highly skilled of players. I despise this so-called style of gameplay, but The Prof once wrote that these techniques are (like them or not) a legitimate part of Stratego. The serious player learns to develop skills to deal with such an adverse strategy–it does not always work, but one simply learns to prepare for such an attack. Therefore, although I can appreciate the sincere logic of remaining totally anonymous for the sake of a good, clean match, with low risk of a lotto blitz, it would still be possible to have alerted Henry as to who you were, and then prepare for a lotto attack in your setup and your strategy for that specific match. I am not saying you were wrong (not at all)–I am offering that there were some choices available. A different choice may or may not have resulted in a disconnect...we will never know.
Serving up a huge platter of 'embarrassment' will not help this matter in any positive regard–may I suggest to those involved that a private message communication, and an apology (for less than gentlemanly and good sportsmanlike conduct), would truly serve both parties (and all of your Stratego friends and tournament buddies) very well. Naturally, neither one of you are obliged to interact or pay attention to the other so long as you choose...but...both of you do bring something GOOD to this game, and to the tournaments. In this context, of tournament play, this is why I have taken it upon myself to try to communicate with you both.